


When Taako Is Alright

by Disastrous Denizen (JoTambles)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anorexia, EDNOS, Eating Disorder, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Gen, implied taakitz - Freeform, vent - Freeform, ventfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 11:53:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18604003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoTambles/pseuds/Disastrous%20Denizen
Summary: In which there’s a distinct difference between when Taako is and isn’t alright.





	When Taako Is Alright

**Author's Note:**

> So I’m making another ventfic I guess and this is probably out of character but that’s just how it gets when projecting :):):)

Taako was doing alright.

Keyword, was.

As much as he may have been pretending he was perfectly fine, that simply wasn’t true. When Taako is doing alright, he isn’t like this.

When Taako is alright, he has emotions. When Taako is alright, his emotions aren’t bland and washed out and minimal and unrecognizable, leaving only a bland level of apathetic dullness. When Taako is alright, he feels things, he reacts not simply because he knows he should. When Taako isn’t alright, he’s more like a dull, lifeless husk just going through the motions of life.

When Taako is alright, he sleeps. If not completely properly, then at least somewhat scheduled. When he isn’t, there’s a sporadic, ever-changing lack, no sleep pattern or schedule formed, sometimes no sleep, sometimes a crash. Usually, he isn’t like this. Usually, Taako is alright.

When Taako is alright, he eats. When he’s alright, he’s okay with this, accepting it, not counting every calorie, every bite of food he eats, not wanting to remove it all from his body or better yet avoid it in the first place. When Taako isn’t alright he’s more  
like this, scared to eat, genuinely panicking realizing he’s eating 1,300 calories, which still isn’t “enough” in normal eyes anyways. When Taako isn’t alright he’s scared and counting carefully, making excuses, and pretending, and more quiet. 

When Taako is alright, he talks. Maybe he isn’t the most talkative, but he’ll still initiate a conversation or ramble on about a topic. When Taako is alright, people don’t question if he’s alright because of how little he’s talking. When he’s not alright, Kravitz doesn’t ask him daily if he’s alright, he seems so quiet, and he just wants to make sure he’s okay. 

When Taako is alright, he can accept compliments. Or at least he doesn’t vehemently deny them, like he’s been doing, because he knows how untrue they are (which in reality is not at all) and how those who deliver them are lying to him, mocking him (they aren’t) and how the compliments just aren’t right. 

When Taako is alright, he isn’t a self conscious wreck, scared to be seen by others, scared to change clothes in front of anyone including himself, who dodges mirrors whenever he can, trying to forget he even has a physical form or any sort of flesh.

When Taako is alright, he keeps down what he’s ate and is okay with that. When he isn’t, post-eating he can be found with his hair up, him on his knees bent over, and two fingers down his throat, coughing and vomiting just to get out what he ate. When Taako isn’t alright, he purges, or at least tries, keeping at least the two nails short so he doesn’t scratch the back of his mouth, making sure there’s no reason for suspicion in the mind of others.

When Taako is alright, he’s perfectly fine.

Taako isn’t alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit, hey I wanna ask if y’all are alright people seem to like this and is that because mood???? Are y’all good???


End file.
